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Sunday, October 5, 2008

Dont make this mistak what i made

Hi. This is my story I would like to share with others. I hope in some way it will help others not to make the mistakes I made throughout my life. Since I was 18 years old I messed up my life. Why?

All because I found out my mother was not my biological mother. I was adopted by my step mother who was a great mum in every way. I made the big mistake of thinking I was not loved by my real mother and not wanted by her. so at age 18 I rebelled against all who really loved me and ended up destroying my own life. I have been looking for my real mother all my life by way of every contact way I saw , There is just one person my dad only to get answers that couldn't help because he himself didn't know. I chose to only hurt myself because I felt abandoned.

I am now 27 years old and have nothing to show for my life at all . All because of a feeling that I was not loved. I became a drug addict to kill the pain of emptiness I felt .

I had relationships with men who I have been drug free for over 2 year's

now and love myself finally. The happy ending to this story is that yesterday on Thanksgiving Day here I sat on the computer and I found my mother!!!!!!! It took all the courage I, the insecure, totally self destructive little girl inside me had to pick up the phone and dial that phone number. But I did and what a surprise I got. The women I thought who had abandoned me and never loved me never even knew I existed!!!!!

I am now going to try and build a relationship with her through the mail and the phone. she lives in north of china and I live in south of china so we can not personally meet due to expenses. she is 65 years old and not in the best of health and I can't afford to fly out there, so we will make the best of what we have and go from there.

I just wanted to share this story with those of you who feel unloved and abandoned. Please give life a chance and do not hurt yourselves because sometimes thing's are not as they seem. We only end up hurting ourselves and if nothing else, please learn to love yourselves.

Shahruk Khan's Family Photos

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